i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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