yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
