I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
