I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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