the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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