Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
