ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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