hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
