i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
