Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
