i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
