my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
