Just fell off a train. Bad.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
