My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
