The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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