I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
