Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
