New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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