Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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