oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
