you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
