Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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