I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
