I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
