ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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