i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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