i dont even know how to be here
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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