dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude. I can hear the air.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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