it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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