I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
