I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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