He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
