wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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