And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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