The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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