One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
