11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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