Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
