i think my mom watched the whole time
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
