wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
