the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
