OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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