Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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