you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
