She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize