i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
