i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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