So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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