I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
