I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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