so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
