Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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