you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
