he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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