Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
