i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
