i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Omg I joined a choir last night...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
