Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
