if you like me you must not know who I am
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
