dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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