I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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